More tranny stories later!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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