I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
