Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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