I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
