I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he shaved USA in his pubs
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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