I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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