Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
