I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
