Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
