So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
