I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
