new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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