i just had sex bonerless
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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