I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
