So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
