my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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