East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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