Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
