i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
last night I used snow as a chaser
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
