HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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