Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
