you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
