I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
