you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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