it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
