dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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