Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize