I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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