I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
