I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
