I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
