So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
