Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
