Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
