he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
