I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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