I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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