is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
