She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
