if you like me you must not know who I am
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
