worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
