my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
