one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
