Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
