You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
