We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
