Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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