Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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