Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
soo... how was my night?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
