i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
