are you still at the devil's house?
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
