that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
