i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
