Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
