the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
