Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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